I just found out that I didn't get the job. The manager said that there were some heated discussions about it and I was a close 2nd. None of the other candidates came close to me and the chick who got it (the one who I freaked out about when I found out she was applying). What it came down to was that they've worked with her before and her experience was a little more relevant than mine.
It was a positive discussion and he seemed sincere when he said he hopes I'll apply if anything else opens up in the department, so that was good. I know I made a good impression. Something may open up for me down the line.
I don't have any overwhelming urge to pig out right now, but I definitely am struggling with feelings of "what's the point?" What does it matter in the long run if I weigh 5 pounds less than I do now? Will I be a better person? Will it get me a raise? Will I suddently be good at everything all the time? Will people like me more? No.
I'm realizing that this feeling is my unhealthy choices trigger. Here's the answer I'm coming up with. Five pounds less won't change my abilities or my character one lick. But "treating" myself with lots of unhealthy food will have immediate consequences and they won't be fun. They won't make me feel better about myself and they won't solve my problems. Quite the opposite.
One thing I really enjoy about being me is my resillience. I bounce back from stuff like this. Folks, this job would have been at least a 10k per year raise for me so I'm not going to pretend I'm not upset and I think that's ok to be upset for a little bit, but I'm going to be just fine.
I need to ask my supervisor formally for a pay grade increase. I believe I have lots of evidence to show I deserve it.
I'm going to get a haircut tonight and that will feel great. It's been about 6 months. I'm also going to make myself something delicious for dinner. Maybe salmon and asparagus? Also I need to buy that consolation outfit I promised myself. I'm thinking shorts and a tank top. Something to wear when I'm not at work that will show off my arms.
Thanks for listening. I'm already feeling better.
I'm so sorry Catherine! It's very tough to go through the interviews then the excruciating wait to find out you didn't get the job.
ReplyDelete5 lbs might not matter to much in your overall appearance, etc. I do find however when I am successful in meeting a fitness goal, I am also more successful in meeting other goals. You know you have no limits when you meet a goal then other goals become more attainable in your mind.
I wish you the best of luck in your career and hope something opens up for you quickly. You are handling it very graciously for just finding out. Chin up girl! :)
I'm so sorry that you didn't get the job, but I'm equally impressed with your grace in the face of your disappointment. I know for a fact that I would not be able to show such poise. May this disappointment leave you free to pursue bigger and better opportunities. You've definitely demonstrated that you're worthy of them!
ReplyDeleteThanks, ladies. The cravings just kicked in. Cookies sound delicious about now. Good thing I'm too lazy to make them today. Ha!
ReplyDeleteYou're totally right, Meghan. Reaching goals begets reaching more goals. Great point.
Way to go Catherine. You are on to great things, keep your motivation up. Dinner, haircut, clothes -- sounds perfect for a pick-me-up. And good on you for avoiding the cookie crave :)
ReplyDeleteYou are AMAZING, Catherine. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I have much to learn from you. I think "resilient" is an excellet descriptor for you. Acknowledge those feelings, validate them, and realize that cookies will not make them go away - and in the end, will only heap on more crappy feelings.
ReplyDeletePour yourself into new goals, go ask for that raise, and buy that teeny-tiny outfit that shows off your rockin' arms and legs! When you wear it, take a good look at yourself and marvel at how incredible you look...and then secretly give those folks at work the bird and laugh at how they missed the boat by not hiring YOU.
If that doesn't work, you could always go egg their cars in the middle of the night...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (I'm kidding, of course)
Know that this community thinks you are da bomb. Go get that well-deserved raise, sister.
Stay strong friend :)
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